I just tried to open up a package which contained a brand new, chrome plated razor. Nice to have sometimes since the razors get all gunked up with the soapy residue and stubble. A fresh one is a wonderful experience first thing in the morning.
Wonderful if you get it out of the package without injuring yourself and the neighbors, or even get it out of the package at all. I understand the whole concept of theft prevention, but this packaging would have survived a direct hit from napalm.
Of course this brings the holidays right into the front of my consciousness. I shiver to think about helping my nieces and nephews with opening their Christmas presents. Every year it kind of sneaks up. The the packaging mocks me when I try to open it. Doesn’t really make a difference what you go at it with. Something is getting busted. Like your fingers.
One time I put the item between my legs and maneuvered a sharp knife into the package. Yeah… ummm…. don’t do that, ok? I still have the scar from where I almost gave myself an appendectomy. Significant scar too. About 9 inches long, but wasn’t too deep. It stopped bleeding after a day. Just don’t do it.
My sister takes pity on me now. She bought the most sturdy pair of kitchen scissors that I have ever used. Like a freaking tank with all kinds of black ridged plastic all over it and rubberized handles, too. A fine instrument for slicing through a bone, or opening a package which are probably equally as difficult.
Aside from actually getting into the package, the thing I despise the most is those huge twist tie things that are impossible to decipher. Just when you think it twists one way, you have to twist it the other way. And then after you get 2 twists untangled, you have to go back in the original direction. I really hate that it makes adults look like court jesters to kids….’do you want me to open that?’ Ummm, no. No thank you. I’m the adult here. I shall open the package that a bunch of sadistic ‘elves’ have made impenetrable, thank you very much.
I am thinking that there are far better ways to make people look stupid. Plus, all that plastic has to be bad for the environment. I try to recycle as much as possible but screw the packaging. I recycle the paper parts of that stuff, but really. With all the hacking and picking apart it would take you forever to gather up all the slivers of plastic blinking a reflection of Christmas lights perfectly.
Do you remember when you were a kid? It seems to me that the worst thing that I ever had to contend with was that packaging tape with the strings of groaning pain woven into it. I’d always think that I was a bad ass and always tried to rip it open with one of my mighty Hercules fingers. I usually needed some rolled gauze to bandage up my finger and some pain reliever for the throbbing. But back then you could (if you were anyone less then a demigod)just grab a butter knife and zip through it like nothing. Now you have to use a small warhead or some kind of freakishly strong plastic eating acid.
Ahhhhh. Why bother stressing over it. The sadistic elves won’t change the packaging. Kids already think that adults are half superhuman, half decade old computer which is pretty much useless to them, plus it has insufficient memory.
I don’t know about you, but that pretty much sums me up…I say with a smile.
Well, I don’t think it’s getting into the package that counts. I think it’s what we get out of it: A conquest. An achievement. A wonderful sense of having a small bit of control over the world we live in.
Either way, I’m so damned tired after busting into the package that I need a nap as soon as I free the contents. Well, guess I’ll go lay down.
